What happens when Mom and Oma come to visit....

So, for the past 2 weeks, my mom and grandma (Oma) have been in town.  Boy, let me tell you, as soon as they left, I felt it.  I went from conquering the world every day to barely keeping my head above water. But at least it's almost 9am and Maggie is still sleeping.  She was a pill last night, and didn't want to go to bed.  All that crying and screaming must have worn her out.

Since I haven't blogged in a while, I will give a quick update on WW before I post some super cool pictures.  WW is really hard!  I started out with 43 points, which was less than I was used to eating, but it was totally manageable, and I rocked it.  Then, about Christmas time, I stopped nursing Mason exclusively because he started on solids, and I started running out of milk.  So, within a week, I went from 43 points down to 33.   That may not seem too bad, except that, for example, a usual lunch for me is only 6 points or a dinner is 12.  So, to lose 10 points is an entire lunch and a snack, or almost all of my dinner.  Basically, its HARD!  Up until February, I had yet to go a week without losing, even though January was a bear.  But, February, we were in Cedar and Richfield a lot because of basketball region and state games.  I ate out and apparently didn't count points well, because I gained 1.8 pounds during the month of February.  I'm going to weigh in on Saturday morning, and I'm totally panicked.  I weighed in once so far this month, and I only lost .4 pounds, so I'm still up 1.4.  Not a happy place to be.  So, I think I've been killing it lately.  I've been working out a ton (I ran 15 miles last week and went to Zumba a couple times!) and I've been eating really well.  Hopefully it pays off and my body stops hating me.

Ok, so now for happier stuff.  Here are some of the projects my mom and I got done while she was here :)

 Took a board, painted it, and nailed a TON of nails in it.  Now I have more cupboard space and less empty walls :)

 Finally hung the sign on my door that I made a few months ago.  It isn't an excellent picture, but it says "Laundry today or naked tomorrow."

 At the kids' height, I hung a mirror (DI for $2.00) and 2 chalkboards ($5 each at Ace in Richfield).  My mom painted Maggie and Mason on to each of them.  I'd much rather them draw on the chalkboards than the walls :)

Forget that the toy box has vomited on our floor...we got that couch and entertainment center at DI.  Oh, and I sewed the valances above the windows.  Kinda hard to tell, but they have Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet all over them.  :)  Then we got tons of buckets to put the millions of toys in, so the toy room wouldn't be quite so messy looking.  :)

 Another shot of my curtains and the couch.

 Best way to rotate a picture:  Cock your head sideways.  :)  Finally, I got some storage in my craft room!  Now I just need to organize it.

 Decorating my craft room/voice studio.  :)  It's a work in progress, but it has started!

Lastly, if you've ever been in my craft room, you'll appreciate this one.  I used to have all of my thread  in my window sills.  Now, they all have a home  And just FYI, my mom made exactly enough slots on this thread holder for the thread I currently have.  She said it's dumb to need more than 96 spools of thread (yep, that's how many I have - count 'em!), so she said I need to use at least one spool up before I buy any more, and then only buy what I have room for, because she doesn't want to take the time to make another one ever again. ;)

So, lastly, I'll write a little about food, and my recent lack of self control.  I've decided that I haven't been doing well, because I keep trying to fudge on the points I've eaten.  Why do I do that?  I don't know.  I spend my time going "no, it wasn't that many points - it couldn't have been....it was probably only (insert incorrect number of points, shy by at least a couple points)."  Then I spend the whole WW meeting wondering why I didn't do well.  Dummy!  Because of this, I decided to try something.  I wanted to renew my sense of  honesty to myself about tracking points.  A friend brought me some cookies yesterday, but I was honest in tracking them, so I was worried by lunch time when I'd eaten more than I usually do.  So, I just had a salad for lunch and apples (yep, I had 2 whole apples at one time) for a snack.  It was HUGE but didn't cost many points at all. A perfect solution!   It worked so well that I wasn't hungry again until we had dinner, and I was able to enjoy 6 slices of  homemade pizza (we do a whole wheat crust, and about 1/4 the cheese normal pizzas have, which makes them MUCH lower in points) and I even ate a couple fun-sized Snickers.  Talk about not feeling deprived.  It was great!  Then I ended the night with some herbal tea, and I feel great.  I think it all went well today, and I feel like I've learned something.  BE HONEST in all of your dealings.  It's one thing to be honest about tithing or something, but I always thought it wasn't a big deal to snitch a little here and there for food.  No wonder I started this journey SIGNIFICANTLY bigger than I should be.  Over 30 pounds later (yep, I beat the 160s this week!  159.7 baby!) I'm done being the fat kid that can't do stuff.

Ok, so that wasn't lastly since I'm writing more.  I just want to make sure this is documented.  I decided officially that I want to do a half marathon.  Now, I didn't say run the whole thing, but I want to do it.  In May to be exact.  This week, with my mom here, I was able to do 17 miles!  That's a ton of running, especially considering I'm still doing Zumba (I've cut down - last week was only twice).  So, that being said officially, now I have to do it :)  More to come about running, but Mason just woke up, so I need to go feed him.

This week's weigh in, and a whole bunch of emotions!

I'll start by saying I need to blog more.  It is so therapeutic.  I feel like this week has been just harder than normal.  Last week, I taught a class for the Relief Society on Pornography Prevention.  It was a super hard presentation to prepare for in that I emotionally get worn out doing it.  I really want to do the presentation a hundred times to help people deal with this HORRIBLE problem that Satan is killing our spirits with, but I can't deny that it is really hard to talk about.  

So, the class went well, except that there weren't very many people who came.  Those who did, I think left feeling a little more empowered to take Satan on and protect their families.  I also had a talk with a few high school kids while I was helping with Phantom earlier that day, and I don't know if Kaycia, Hillary, Kendall or Jaren were affected by what was said, but since I've had a week or so to reflect on that day, I think I changed a lot that day.  I love living in a place where you can feel the Spirit even when you're teaching some kids to sing at school.  

Since that day, I've been feeling really uncomfortable.  You know, that feeling like you need to do something.  I've been feeling like I need to talk to people about pornography more often.  Of course, it is kind of silly to just call your friend and say "hey, let's talk about porn."  People stop being your friend if you do that I think.  So, I've been ignoring that feeling.  Tuesday night, Matt was texting a friend of his that was one of our old neighbors when we lived up north, and his friend (who we knew was a porn addict) said that he and his wife split up, and he was living with his parents.  I knew they had had problems, but my heart was breaking for this couple, this mom who now has to take care of 4 kids all by herself, and for her two little girls who don't have a man in their life who doesn't objectify women, and for her 2 sons who don't have a good example of how to treat a woman.  It kind of spoiled my night.  They watched Maggie for us all the time, and had it not been for this family taking Maggie in so much, there is no way I would've graduated from college.  What a wonderful woman - why did this have to happen to her?  I don't know.  

So, Wednesday I had kind of picked myself up after Tuesday's disappointing news, and I saw I'd missed a call from one of my best friends.  After some texting and phone tag, I finally got to talk to her in the car on the way to the basketball game.  She dropped another bomb as big as my other friend.  I knew her and her husband were getting divorced because of a sex addiction, alcoholism, and other things she didn't know about before she was sealed to him a little over a year ago, but her news Wednesday night killed me.  Her lawyer asked her to get tested for STDs just to be thorough on the divorce, and she got results back that she has herpes.  She didn't ask for that.  She didn't ask for her heart to be broken, dragged on the floor, and chucked in the trash.  She didn't ask for the Scarlet Letter that is what happens when you are LDS and divorced.  She didn't deserve any of that.  But it seems so cruel to me that on top of all of that, she got herpes, too.  Now, not only does she carry the fact that she's divorced but anyone she dates is eventually going to have to know that she has herpes.  My friend is a good girl!  She is a wonderful woman - why did this have to happen to her?  I don't know. 

So, after both of those blows, my heart has been hurting a lot this week.  Two really good friends, neither of which deserve any of the things their husbands did to them.  My head has been really stuck with this, and I have had a really nagging feeling lately that I need to find ways to stop this stuff from happening to anyone else.  I'm sick of it.  So, Thursday, I woke up with resolve to get people to talk to about it.  I'm sure I was super neurotic, but I sent some Facebook messages asking people to let me teach the porn prevention class, and I called a good friend of mine and just got all my emotions out.  Thanks, Carrie, for understanding!  

Wow, so lots has happened this week.  I think I get to present for the youth before Prom, which is nice. I think the Elders are going to sponsor an activity, too (I HOPE!) and hopefully that will pacify me.  

So, off the pornography thing...I thought since I had a pretty emotional week this week, I wouldn't do well on the scale for Weight Watchers.  I have been tracking what I've been eating, but I only went to Zumba 3 times this week (I usually go 4 or 5) and I ate quite a bit of junk food lately.  But, I've been tracking everything, and I've been staying good on my points.  So, apparently if you stick to the plan it works, because I lost 1.2 lbs this week!  I love losing weight!  It is so much better than gaining!  I kind of wish I could lose more stretched out skin from babies.  I feel like every other part of my body is looking pretty good, but I don't know why that baby fat still wants to hang out.  Maybe when everything else is "done" my waist will start behaving.  :)  I did like losing weight, though.  Losing over a pound always makes me feel good, and it was just the pick-me-up I needed after a rough week.  

Now, I'm going to a girls basketball game in Cedar City.  It's our region championship game, so I hope they do well!  It is nice to have a little change of pace, and our kids enjoy basketball games  :)

A GREAT week for Weight Loss! ...and a little about high schoolers!

So, I had to get some things for Activity Days this weekend and we went to Cedar City today, and I figured I should hit up a Weight Watchers meeting while we were in town.  It started at 9, so I figured if we left by 7:45, it would be fine.  We hit the snooze button on the alarm one too many times, so we didn't leave until almost 8.  Bad choice.  It was a VERY long drive to Cedar, because it was snowing in the canyon between Hwy 89 and I-15.  BUMMER!  Luckily, I made it for the last 5 minutes of the meeting, and I was able to talk to my leader for a while, and catch up and get some more motivation.  I also weighed in.  I was a little worried, since I went to a meeting in SLC on Monday, and I was worried that with only 5 days between meetings, it would be a very slow weight loss week.  I only had .2 lbs to lose, though, to get to my 10% weight loss goal, so I was hoping SOO much to at least get that .2 lbs.  Boy was I in for a surprise!  Not only did I get my .2 lbs, but I lost 3 pounds!  Five days, 3 lbs, that's 1 2/3 lbs per day!  NOT HALF BAD, especially considering I have had lots of caramel popcorn all but one day this week!

I want to say I feel skinnier, but I don't know that I feel that much different.  I made an attempt to try to look cuter at the girls basketball game tonight, and I wanted to wear some boots I just got.  They have a pretty big heel (anything over 1/2 inch is pretty high for me...) and I was so not comfortable in them.  I want to be one of those cute moms that can rock cute leather boots like the ones I just bought and was wearing tonight, but my attempt tonight was not quite the success I was hoping for.  Hopefully the skinny feeling catches up with me, because I totally felt fat tonight in the jeans I was wearing.  Maybe it was the boots I was wearing.  Or maybe it was my baby gut that was hanging out more than I wanted.  Clothes-wise, the only redeeming part of the night was that my friend and sweet visiting teacher, Mekeisia Westwood, commented on my jeans and said they looked cute.  I wish I could be more like Mekeisia.  Almost every time I see her, she says I'm looking good and that I'm looking thinner, and is proud of me.  I'm so thankful for friends like her.

Yesterday, I learned a lot about myself and about what I was like when I was in high school.  First of all, let me just say I am SO grateful for my situation now.  Happily married, NOT in high school, 2 beautiful kids that I get to take care of all day (and night) because I love them to pieces.  In high school, I was so emotional and I read into things WAY too much, and I....well I was pretty normal in that sense, I guess.  I remember talking to my friends about cute boys and what they said to me and how they said it and what they were wearing when they said it, and what color their eyes were when they were saying something about a sport that I didn't care at all about, but nodded and giggled anyway, and....ok, I know, you get the idea.  Barf!  Anywhere I hung out that had girls was fun, but when there were guys, there was another something added and it was stressful and fun and oh my goodness, life changed when boys were around.  Interesting how that is so much less the case now that I'm married.  I'm not nervous, my hands aren't clammy, my heart isn't racing...WOW life is great!

The other thing I thought about was this...I spent so much time trying to be someone I wasn't that I kind of lost myself in all of it.  I am a people pleaser.  That is still true.  But I used to worry about what everyone, yep, seriously everyone, thought of me.  It was painful.  I remember shopping with my mom once, and I wanted to buy pants that were a size 4, when really I was probably at least 1 or 2 sizes bigger.  As I stood there in the dressing room, I really had a crisis of conscience trying to figure out if I should get a bigger or smaller size pair of pants.  Fit or don't fit wasn't going through my head at all.  It was "if someone sees the tag on my pants in the locker room, what would they ever think if I had such a HUGE number like a 6 or an 8?"  Now, I wonder, who ever looked at each others tags in pants?!?  I never did.  I just assumed everyone else was a 0.  How dumb!

I think this is a challenge I still deal with, because I want people to like me.  I just am a little less stupid about it, I think.  Don't comment on that if you think otherwise.  One situation in particular last night hit me kind of hard.  Someone (who will remain nameless since most of these kids have access to my blog...) said something about how they felt a certain way about this song we were talking about.  She said it was one of her favorite songs.  Someone else said it was kind of dumb, and then the first girl agreed and said yeah maybe it wasn't so cool after all.  It reminded me of a situation I was dealing with last week.  I totally reverted back to my high school ways, and I'm not proud of it.   I was talking to someone about some of my beliefs.  I said I believed that God knows us, and won't give us any challenge that we can't handle, and won't let things happen to us that aren't for our good.  I really, honestly, believe that.  And it's not like I live such a perfect life as to believe that we don't get tried and challenged.  Yes, I've been very blessed, but I also have had lots of things to deal with.  This person I was talking to said that if I really believed that, then why would something like what she is currently going through happen to her.  Instead of standing up for the fact that I know God won't give us anything we can't handle, and that he allows trials for our own good, I got weak. In a moment of trying to make her like me, I said something totally dumb about how maybe it was just me that it was for, and maybe hers really wasn't a fair trial.

So, here I stand to correct my weakness.  I know that everything that happens is for a reason.  I know that God loves us so much that He only allows things to happen that we can deal with.  I don't claim to know the answers as to why all of these things happen.  Why do children get abused?  Why can't a family who really wants a baby get pregnant?  Why do 16-year-olds get pregnant?  Why do people starve, while some of us drown in food and become obese?  Why do people get addicted to drugs, alcohol and pornography and ruin their family relationships?  I don't know.  But I know God knows, and that brings me peace.  The other thing I wanted to say and I didn't was this:  when I heal one part of myself, other parts of myself start healing, too.  We had one student loan we hadn't paid off yet, and when we really started attacking it, I felt the need to also be a better mom.  That process of healing our finances made me want to grow my relationship with Maggie (since Mason wasn't born yet).  When we stick to our budget, like we did today in Cedar City and Matt put away cheese balls because we didn't have enough in the budget for that and all the other groceries, that grew our marital relationship.  I always have a really good weight loss week when I read my scriptures every day.  When one part of your life starts to heal or grow, other areas of life follow.  So, if you need healing from something (say you feel like God doesn't know how bad you wanted something), try to heal other areas of your life first if the wound of the first is too hard to deal with then.  Maybe that's why they say to serve others when you're going through a trial - it will make you feel better.

Ok, seriously, last rant.  The last correction I need to deal with is service.  So many people I know (including myself sometimes) get so caught up in serving others that they forget that "others" include their own family.  I'm totally guilty of this sometimes.  Why serve my children by playing with them when I can be doing "real" service (ie callings, helping a neighbor, etc.).  Now, callings are important, and so are your neighbors, but if the service you give them is at a great expense to your children, maybe it is important to look inward and serve your family first.  I've been making a great effort lately to take more time with the kids.  Mason is over 6 months old and isn't sitting up yet, and I've been wondering if that may be because I spend too much time focussed on other things, since he's such a good baby and doesn't freak out as much as Maggie did.  He still needs my love and my attention.  Maggie has so many stories to tell me and so many songs to sing - it would be such a shame if I didn't listen to her!  All in all, focus on your families first!  I've noticed a marked improvement in my life since I have been working on it.

Anyway, I think I've found enough things to rant about for one night.  :)

What to do with Maggie? Mason's an angel ...oh and Weight Watchers Progress

Maggie woke up on one this morning.  She wanted water, and she wanted that special pink cup my mom got her (curse you, Mom!), and she started blowing bubbles (curse you, nursery of a ward we visited once!) and made a mess ALL OVER!  So, I finally convinced her to stop, and she was SO cute at saying "no no bubbles anymore!"  Sorry about the naked video, but she wasn't wearing any clothes because when I got upstairs after I heard she was awake and I got a diaper on her but nothing else...I knew I was going to have to bathe her after breakfast anyway, so what's the point?  I also have no idea what to do with her because she has started making herself throw up when she gets mad.  She gets in that "end of the world" freaking out when she doesn't want to do whatever you need her to do (brush her teeth, like last night, or pick up the toys like this morning...) and she just panics so much that she makes herself throw up.  I have NO CLUE what to do with that!  My mom tells me stories about things I did when I was young, but she's got nothing on that.  If anyone does, I'd appreciate any help I can get!

Mason, on the other hand, was an angel.  He woke up and had drool all over his pjs, so again, he wasn't wearing anything but a diaper.  But he was happy as could be!  He ate SO much food, I didn't know what to do with him!  He ate oatmeal baby cereal and 3/4 of a jar of mushed bananas. WOW!  He's barely 6 months old!

Oh, and I've had people asking how the holidays were on Weight Watchers.  I had no idea how much I could eat!  When I track things through WW online, I realize just how much I eat, and how much more I could eat if I wasn't keeping track!  I had an official weigh in yesterday, while I was up in SLC, and I weighed .4 lbs lighter than my Dec 17 weigh in. But, that being said, I always wear the same pair of super thin pants and a light-weight t-shirt when I weigh in. I even wear the same underwear so I keep it even.  Yesterday, when I weighed in, I was wearing a super-thick pair of jeans.  I know I will have an excellent week next week because I'm going back to my regular weigh-in clothes.  I did go shopping yesterday, and here go more confessions.  When I was dating Matt, I had a pair of capris that I LOVED that fit really well that were a size 18.  I remember that I loved the pants, but I cut the tag out because I hated the size.  That was before kids, and I was an 18!  Today, I wore (I'm already in pjs...) AE jeans that are a size smaller than my "goal" jeans were!  The goal jeans were size 14, and I am currently in a 12!  I also purchased 10's so I have new goal jeans.  My final goal is an 8, which would be great to be at by summer time!  :)  Anyway, that's it on WW.

Procrastination...Who knew you could get so much done in the last second?

Wow!  It's been so long since I've posted!  So sad that so much has been missed!  So, here are some highlights, and some random other things.

First of all, Way back to Christmas break.  Matt had school until the Thursday before Christmas, and Thurs. was only a half day.  So, he came home from school, and we sewed aprons that I was working on for my Aunt Heidi.  We also were going to spend time with her family that afternoon and evening.  And we were going to relax.  And the house was going to be clean.  The days leading up to that Thursday were hectic - Christmas parties at Church, basketball games, last-minute shopping, going to SLC to visit Matt's brother, Troy and his family, who were in town for Rebecca's (Troy's wife) book signing.  (If you're looking for a good book to read, btw, Rebecca's new book, Sadie is an excellent choice!  Matt and I read it out loud together in less than a week!)
Rebecca Belliston's new book Sadie

Needless to say, it was a busy week.  In those busy days, I kept thinking that Thursday was going to be a nice, long, not-so- busy day, filled with leisurely sewing and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.  Oh wait...no fireplace.  Either way, I thought it.  Boy was  I wrong, though.  Matt came home at noon, to two screaming kids who were so cranky from waking up so early I didn't know what to do.  Matt called one of his students and took them over to her house to babysit so Matt and I could get packed for Christmas vacation and sew and clean the house and...well all of it needed to be done in about 2 hours.  That was the plan.  Three hours into it, we called the babysitter to see if all was well, and they were ok, so we kept going.  Four hours into it, more neighbors were bringing over treats for Christmas.  Five hours into it we were finally finished sewing.  Now, on to packing.  Matt went to get the kids, I ran like mad to start packing, and as soon as Matt got home, another neighbor knocked on the door to deliver treats.  How embarrassing to have a tornado in our living room right when she came over!  Aprons all over the place, toys from Maggie, who was on one that day, suitcases, ...you get the idea.

I have a strong conviction that a clean house is a happy house.  My dad taught me that.  Although, I think it was "a clean car is a happy car."  I think it's the same principle.  So strong, in fact, that I dreaded coming home from Christmas vacation, because I knew what our house was going to be like.  Clean your house before you leave for a trip!  It makes coming home so much more pleasant!

Enough of that rant.  Christmas was great.  Maggie loves Frosty the Snowman, cookie houses (or trains, like my mom got for her!), Mickey Mouse, Santa Cwaaaaaas, and Christmas (aka Christmas Trees).  Maggie slept in a big girl, twin sized bed the whole time and only fell out once.  Mason stopped sleeping through the night, which was a bummer, but I got a nap every single day I was there!  BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!  I got some new clothes, and I got to spend a lot of time with Matt, which was very refreshing.  I got to teach my grandpa how to use Roots Magic and we played on Ancestry.com, which were both lots of fun.  My grandparents and my parents spoiled Maggie rotten.  ...And all Maggie wanted to play with was a Craigslist find - a tricycle with a handle out the back that makes it into a stroller so someone can push her.  She didn't want to open any other presents!  Bummer!

Maggie at Aunt Heidi and Uncle Jim's house, so excited for Christmas!

At the airport in Salt Lake City, we had no idea till my mom texted me that my brother Kenny and his new wife, Becca, were going to be in the airport at the same time.  It was a fun - but short - family reunion!  Those two are so cute together!

The first thing we did when we got to Oma and Opa (my parents)'s house. My mom had already put together the Gingerbread Train (aka cookie train) and Maggie decorated with (and ate) lots of candy!

That first day was EXHAUSTING!  We left Utah at 6am, which meant we had to be at the airport by 4:30am.  This is Maggie and my mom at dinner time.  She'd eaten enough candy, and she was worn out!  She woke up that night at about 9:30 pm, ate, and went right back to sleep till almost 7:30 the next morning.

Maggie opened this Christmas present (a Craigslist find!) on the 23rd, and so Christmas Eve we went to the mall to show Santa what she got from Oma and Opa.  Too bad she loved it so much.  She didn't want to open any other presents.  All she wanted to do was ride her bicycle.  We sang the Bicycle song from Queen a lot that day, and Maggie had a blast!  This trike is cool, because it has straps that we even got Mason into! :)

When we got home (Dec 30), we put the kids to sleep right away.  Santa had come, and we wanted to wait till morning to open presents.  Maggie liked opening the first present, but after that, she was done with Christmas, and went to go play.  I guess we'll get to use the presents she didn't want to open next year.  :)

Wow! How time flies! Mason's health update, weight update, essential oils, and the problem with my clothes...

Wow!  Lots has happened since I posted last.  Thanksgiving was successful, and I lost weight!  I have yet to have a week where I have gone the wrong direction (up).  I only go down, and it's great!  I haven't been losing as much lately, and I think that is largely due to the fact that Mason don't want to nurse as much.  I'm making less milk, and he wants to look around.  That means 7 less points a day for me.  Just as a reference, tonight my dinner was only 8 points.  That's a lot of stinkin' points!  Oh well.

Mason went to the doctor this week, and his heart murmur is all but gone (yay!) and his hernia didn't get any worse, even though the doctor was thinking it would need to be operated on in the next month or two.  That means the essential oils have been working!  Priscilla Morgan brought me some when she heard about Mason being so sick.  She was so sweet to bring them over, and the best part - they work!  I am totally a believer in essential oils now!  Thanks, Priscilla!

So, on a totally different note, I've been going through a lot of body changes lately.  I've just really started to feel like I'm getting smaller.  It is a blessing...and a curse.  (Maybe it's because its about this time of the month that I'm always super emotional.) This week has been hard, because my clothes don't fit me anymore.  I'm glad they're too big, but I have VERY few clothes that fit well anymore.  I've been taking in some of my favorite staples (pants, shirts), but some of the clothes are so emotionally linked to me being fat, that I never want to see them again, and therefore, I haven't taken them in.  Last night and this morning have been the worst.  Last night was the first boys basketball game, and I wanted to show Piute pride, and I don't own much that is Piute blue or red.  Mason spit up on the one fighting chance of a blue t-shirt that would work, so I ended up wearing a sweater and sweating the whole time while I ran after my kiddos.  I did try on some of Matt's clothes in hopes he'd have something I could borrow, and it was an EXCELLENT feeling that his shirts and sweaters now fit me.  Granted, they're a little loose on him and are pretty snug on me, but I would feel totally comfy going out in any of his shirts now.  NICE! Too bad he didn't want me to wear any of them....and he had a perfect red one AND a great blue one...

This is a big step, though.  Fitting into Matt's clothes....WOW!  I may never fit into his pants - he's a 28 inch waist, and I've had 2 kids...but I have always been so sad that he is so much smaller than me.  Now I am getting closer!  When we first were married, he was almost 60 lbs lighter than me.  Now, we're barely 35 lbs apart, and I keep losing weight.  As long as he doesn't lose any, we'll only be 30 lbs apart before Christmas! :)

So, this morning was pretty bad, too.   I practically threw my whole closet on the floor.  Too big (and should be taken in), I hate (and they're too big), or not dressy enough for church, were the piles I made.  I felt like a teenage girl.   It was kind of liberating, but made us BARELY on time for church - and we had to sit in the very front.  I ended up finding a black shirt that I remember kind of liking, but was always too small.  Tried it on in hopes it would now fit, and it was so big it made me look old and frumpy.  Good thing I've been losing weight - bad though, because I have NOTHING to wear anymore.  So, I decided that, even though it was Sunday, and about 8:55am,  I was going to take the shirt in.  Luckily I'm a pretty fast seamstress, because church starts at 10, and at 8:55 when I started the venture, no one in our family was showered, Maggie and Mason had just woken up and were hungry, and none of the church clothes were ironed.  I took about 2 inches in on the sleeves, and I could've taken a little more. I took about 3 1/2 inches around the bodice, and it fit a little loose, but that's just how I like it.  

Now, I need to figure something out.  Here's the problem:  new clothes.  I have a few problems associated with new clothes.  First of all, it costs a lot of money.  We decided as a family that being out of debt completely before Christmas was more important than just about anything else.  That meant that either we sacrificed most of our Christmas budget (which is small anyway, since we also decided to give half of it away to a family in our town that needs it more than we do) or I sacrificed clothes.  At the beginning of the paycheck, I wasn't feeling like my clothes were too too big, so I thought that our family would be better served by having Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, but I don't love feeling like I don't know how to dress myself because my clothes don't fit.  To all my new friends in Piute County, please understand that looking frumpy is not my intention.

The next problem is that I'm not done.  As I'm writing this, I am 165 lbs.  I started Weight Watchers at 181.6 lbs., and I weighed 191 lbs. 6 weeks after Mason was born.  That means I am down 30 lbs since the end of August, which is GREAT, but I still have a long way to go.  My goal weight is 125, so I still have 40 lbs to go.  That's a TON of weight.  So, why would I buy clothes that fit me now, just to need new clothes again in a few months?  Grumble!

Now, here's the other, and the bigger problem.  If I'm being totally honest, the aforementioned reasons are TINY, resolvable problems in comparison to this one.  I have a fear of shopping.  I know, I'm a woman.  Something is wrong with me.  Is there an essential oil to fix a fear of shopping?  Haha!  I think it probably started when I used to go shopping with my mom, and we could never find pants that fit me well.  I was too prideful to admit that pants didn't look very good on me when they were tight, but I couldn't stomach being a size 7 or whatever size I was that was rediculously small when I was in junior high and high school.  I would always blame it on that they weren't Gap or AE or Abercrombie or whatever was cool at the time.  Really, they just were SO stinkin' tight, and I hated how they fit.  How stupid. A bigger size would've fixed that problem so fast!  Anyway, whatever the start of it, I have this fear of shopping.  I don't like trying on sizes that feel "huge" to me, because it makes me feel fat, but I hate worse bringing home clothes that really are too small for me that I know I'll never wear...and I hate spending money on clothes, too.

So, if anyone has any great practical advice, I'm happy to hear it.  Matt and I are going up to SLC in a few weeks, and to SD over Christmas, which are both good times to go shopping.  I also am not totally against online shopping, but I just hate having to spend money to send it to me and then have to pay to send it back if I don't like whatever it is.  Well, that's all for now.  :)

Paintbrushes and Princesses

Today was probably one of my favorite days being a mommy.  Maggie's friend, Taesi came over today and played.  She was SO excited!  We've had people come over before, but it usually is some of my friends who have kids that aren't even close to Maggie's age, and it's the "oh go play in the toy room while mommy visits."  Not nearly as much fun for Maggie, I'm sure.  Today, Mason went down for a nap right after Taesi came over.  Apparently watching the girls paint wasn't his favorite pasttime...

But the girls sure had fun!

I think Mason may have just wanted to paint, but he isn't so good at holding the brush yet...

So, now that there were no boys to get cooties from, the girls dressed up like princesses :)

Taesi's shirt got dirty, so she's wearing one of Maggie's.  A clean shirt makes a happy girl.

I love Maggie's face.  No smiling there...but she's saying "cheese!"  Anyone have any better words to get her to actually smile?

We also went and played with the chickens for a while, and then we played a game called Don't eat Pete...It was more that the girls wanted to eat chocolate.  Can you blame them? :)  All in all, a great day!